"The white fathers told us, "I think, therefore, I am" and the black mother within each of us – the poet – whispers in our dreams, I feel, therefore I can be free."- Audre Lorde

Friday, June 26, 2009

city park

heterosexual affection in the park makes my brow furrow.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

grad club

you look like your having an orgasm when you sing.
i like this about you.

Monday, June 8, 2009

commune. i. tea.

the other night Todd pointed out to me that I too was a neo- nun. i dig this.
it got me thinking about how much i enjoy the fellow neo- nuns, and monks i cohabitate with intentionally.

These are the people--- this is the community--- that i adore, breathe,celebrate, create, contemplate, conspire, cry,cook, commit, dream, dumpster-dive, eat,feast, fast, groove, grow,give, hope, itch, identify, joke, knead, live, love, mourn, meditate, meet,negotiate, osculate, pray, play, plant, perspire, question, rebel, reconcile, serve, share, snuggle, submit, tidy, unite, write, worship, volunteer, xerox, yawn and zoom with.

From having to reach house consensus on the minimum amount of crackers that is acceptable to leave in the box, to telling our own vulnerable stories of desperation and hope, around a campfire in the rain.... these are the people, this the community, who helps me see the God colours in the world, and encourages me to grow. throughout the day to day nitty griddies of living in community, i am inspired continuously by the people i am surrounded by, to carve out and discover a stronger and deeper sense of self that's defined and sculpted by love. love from the Creator. and love for his creation. and for this beautiful and sometimes painful blessing called community, i am thankful. because of it, i am one heart-beat closer to the freedom, peace, connection and wholeness that my spirit has longed for.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

a wednesday afternoon

i wore purple wild flowers in my hair today.
they made me happy. usually wild flowers make me feel better. today i felt much more like myself again . ive missed afternoons that oooze nothing but careless joy. im glad spontaneous wednesday afternoons exist.
spending time in our garden makes me feel much more alive. i like to kiss the earth when noone is looking. earth is so beautiful. it makes me lick my lips. i wish i could bathe in crazy glue and roll in dirt afterwards. i would very much like to be soiled forever. id like if worms lived on my arms. worms. i like quietly adoring them. sometimes i envy them. but today, i didn't. partly because if i was a worm, i wouldnt have legs, and today i was especially pleased to have legs, because i wanted to ride my new-to-me 30year old brown bicycle. andrew and i rode to value village, where i purchased my first pair of over-alls, in at least the last 10+ years. i used to insist on wearing nothing but. i feel my gardening experience would be enhanced tremendously if i were to wear a cheap pair of 3 sizes too big overalls. now i can ensure my butt crack dosn't show while i squat over my eggplants. plus overalls are just plain suppper cool.
on the ride home, i sang andrew rhythm and blues songs. this too, made me happy. this morning i watched the boys. we blew bubbles and danced on sidewalk graffiti. when he said my name for the first time, tears welled in my eyes, and suddenly the prospect of future motherhood seemed less daunting.
im incredibly excited because today, i also went for volunteer orientation at Martha's table. I've been itching to be a server ever since i was a young fetus.
i sometimes miss being a fetus. i think thats why i like snuggling by myself in my closet so much.
i like closets and other small enclosed spaces. alot.
i found out today that the ice cream man, is not a myth. for 15 years of my life i thought the garbage man was a myth that only happened on movies.
im lucky i date a smart boy who can teach me new facts about the world.

snail coitus makes me smile