"The white fathers told us, "I think, therefore, I am" and the black mother within each of us – the poet – whispers in our dreams, I feel, therefore I can be free."- Audre Lorde

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Kosher Salt. In my eye.

What I liked about the past 3 days:
A Comprehensive Listing:
  • i like that Levon sometimes wipes his boogers on flowers. i like that his curls make my heart sigh and his eyes make me feel comfortably and wonder fully lost. i like holding his sticky Popsicle juice hands. watching his wild dance moves. i like when he has lengthy conversations with me about cats. i like when he squats and u can see the waistline of his big boy underwear. i like when he sings songs about peeing to his "wiener" as he pees, to encourage and praise the pee to come out. i like when he smiles and the world feels like it was made just for him. i like that he thinks the John A MacDonald statue in the park is really a statue of Old MacDonald. i like that he still drools on my thigh. that sometimes he seems to know more about life than i do. i like that we get to be friends.
  • i like that laying in a field of dandelions makes me feel powerful. i like finding little yellow and orange spiders on my arm, remind me of ordinary miracles. i like that sometimes i find myself eating a hot apple on a hilltop and feeling as if life doesn't get any better. i like that there are moments like this past weekend, that make me feel as if I'm complete.

  • i like when people named Al gives me surprise and delicious books that change how i see the my world. i like that when i read a good book i have spirit spasms that my whole body feels.

  • i like that my life has been blessed with alot of AMAZING succulent women.

  • i like that sometimes eating a mango naked is healing

  • i like that blenders are magical. i like that i can put in pineapple and kiwis and grapes. and make juice. i like that i can add rum. and make even better juice.

  • i like that fiddle heads are CREAMY and gorgeous. and remind me of eating shrimp. sort of.
  • i like that beets taste like the earth's womb. i like that they bleed purple. i like when i "accidentaly" rub beets all over my arm so that i too am purple
  • i like that i've been sleep walking lately. i like the places i end up.
  • i like my mini flower and herb garden that hangs off my fire escape
  • i like that i looked outside my bedroom window and saw a middle aged woman's naked buttocks. i like that she didnt feel the need to wear underwear with that kilt. i like that her partner decided to spank her on the sidewalk at midnight while making out below

  • i like that from my window, i am invisible and can watch creepily. i like that im a border line pervert. but not really. but sort of. i like that thats ok.

  • i like that i wake up in the morning next to a very large tomato plant, that my friend Julian gave me from his garden. i like that julian exists. i like his arm full of beautiful and vibrant tattoos. i like that they reflect his equally beautiful and vibrant personality and soul. I like that he notices things i dont. I like that he hates the my gaudy decorative wooden spoon. i like that he loves the earth enough to treat it right. i like that he built an natural eco-shower in his backyard. i like he has a bazillion pets. i like that when we talk, i feel heard.
  • i like that i can go from being in the heart of kingston, the busy bustle of downtown life, to the middle of farm land, in a matter of minutes. i like that the ferry to wolfe island is a skip away. i like that andrew and i rode our bikes around the island as the sun was setting and explored secret hidden graveyards. i like being around tombstones. alot. i love the power that oozes from the earth. i like the life. i like the promise. i like the comfort. i like that there are stories there i dont know. i like pretending if im quiet enough I'll hear them.

  • i like that Andrew and I made homemade pretzels last night and that they were delicious. I like that i fretted all afternoon cause the recipe required a "dutch oven" and i thought it meant i had to actually buy a brand new oven/stove. i like that andrew made me feel better. i like that he had a secret dutch oven under his bed that i didnt know about. i like that he's a better cook than me.

  • i like the dinner i made last night: cous cous, with garlic, lemon and cumin. on a bed of fresh spinach. with lightly grilled eggplant, fiddle heads, and red peeper, in olive oil.

i like getting unexpected cards from friends I havnt seen for far too long

  • i like that i now have a beer diary. i like that im going to eventually try every bizarre and unusual beer at LCBO and that andrew is going to keep a detailed record of my experience, as well as a detailed rating system.
  • i like when i smell something good in the air, and then realize it's my own armpits.

  • i like that humans can actually drink cat nip, and that its a natural anti-depressant.
  • i like reading about vitamins while your babies sleep.
  • i like the feeling i get right before I'm about to go home to the Soo-- i like that over the years, miguel has become part of the family i come home to be with.
  • i like my grandma and I's friendship. I like that talking to her feels like chatting playfully with a bestfriend. I like that we have weekly phone dates. i like that she knows all about my life, i know all about hers. I like our conversations. i like when she gigles. i like when she tells me cute stories about her dog moochie. i like that we've ended every phone call with "i love you", since i was a tiny little girl who just learned how to talk.
  • i even like that i have kosher salt in my eye.

Monday, May 24, 2010


There is in my life two distinct worlds-
the "real" word, as they call it
logical, practical, tangible, painful
real, as real gets.
And the "dream world", as I imagine it,
creative, emotional, mystical, strange
surreal as surreal gets.

The second i find home,
the first, i am alien
thrust into
against myself
a foreign space to travel cautiously
with eyes closed, and fists clenched.

I float in, i drift out
between these worlds i find myself
but often
my dreams, are my powerful than my legs
and they carry me further into the imagined
further away from the world you know as real away from the judgment and the jadedness
away into a place where bravery isn't necessary
and doubt isn't possible.
It's hard to stay there,

cause the man keeps bringing me down
down down down
to the space
where they take me down
and steal my mind
corrupt my thoughts
with mindless hate and apathy
with money, with greed, with war
with indifference disguised as comfort
with complacency and the bullshit of "Independence"
These are the shackles
bound to my wrists
my ankles
tying me down down down
to earth
to ground

they can tie me ,
and try to domesticate
and strip me
but they can't pillage my dream
they can bind my ankles together
but they can't stop me from dancing

No, they can't tie my spirit down
down down down
cause my spirit -- it wanders
it tip toes fearlessly into the thin spaces
into the thin places
where the real
becomes the surreal

it tip toes into the hard realization
that perhaps one world is enough

perhaps these worlds - the real and the dream

Yes, they collide.

Maybe what the "real world" needs is a little more imagination
a little more dreamin
a little more heart
A hole,
in the earth
for the surreal to seep through
into the pores
and the veins of a very real world.
maybe dreams weren't ever meant to be something to escape into,
but rather something we use to confront what we're trying to escape from, in the first place.
maybe it's our dream worlds,
that can unshackle our wrists, so we can write boldly against bondage
maybe it's our dream worlds
that untie the rope around our ankles,
so we can walk courageously
into reality, towards freedom
on legs that know and resist
with each step
the tragedy of imprisonment.

Maybe it's dreaming,
that makes the real world
after all....

Thursday, May 20, 2010

...I often wish beets were big enough to hug

Sunday, May 9, 2010

snail coitus makes me smile