Like Life you flow through me/and yet/my own veins and body remain oblivious to your powers.

Heart beats/and you listen/ because you are there. In me. There.

Heart aches/ and you listen/ because your job/ was to mend/not break.

But you do break/ Though your pieces/ remain the pieces of myself/ i cling to most.

These pieces/they float in me/ and like tumors they ground to the walls of my insides.

I feel you in the pain/ I feel you grow/ cell by cell.

Until you become a fear/ too BIG to remove/ too much apart of me to decipher where my flesh begins and your pieces end.

To cut you/would be to cut me/ and that is the tragedy of this love.

You become in me, a second life/ tiny and beating/ alive yet dying

No doctors could detect you/ No surgery could dissect you

but still like a tumor, you swell in me.

And instead of despair/ my fear embraces/cuddles/nurtures and delights in you

because to the world you were a secret/ but to my body you were real.

They tell me you're diseased/ They say to live without you is to heal.

But if to heal means to live without you/ than i'll remain ill/ so not to lose you.

Because in losing you/ I would be lost/ and that's the worsedisease of all.

So you grow/because I let you/ because I am bound/ in/and/to you.

You grow as I cry out your name/ You grow until your name cries out in me.

Until each breath seems to pass through you

Until each heart beat rhythms to keep you alive.

But these are lies/ the lies I create myself/ for myself

because I fear who I'll be/ once your gone.

So you grow/ you grow until you rupture/ and i am left with the mess/ of the mound you used to be.

You are the mess that oozes through me/ painfully/ through leery veins/ past a hurting heart.

Slowly you find your way out/ blood/tears/vomit and urine.

Soon you'll be gone entirely/and I'll be here mourning the loss of the space you filled in me.

But I'll let go/ Soon I'll let go/ of the pieces of myself I swore were you.

And in this loss/courage will someday find me/ and without you I will breathe/feel/step and live

without you.

and as me.