"The white fathers told us, "I think, therefore, I am" and the black mother within each of us – the poet – whispers in our dreams, I feel, therefore I can be free."- Audre Lorde

Thursday, January 14, 2010

shaved

When my Dad shaved off his mustache I cried for a week.
I was around seven.
I remember he had just walked through the door, and i caught a glimpse of his naked upper lip,
through the corner of my horrified eye
and i screamed.
I screamed as if i had just witnessed a bear violently tearing the face off of my little pet dog.
I screamed as if I had just found said pet dog's ripped up corpse under my pillow.
I screamed. i ran. i hid. and then i cried. i cried inconsolably until i started choking on my own snot.
i grieved his missing face hair. i mourned its loss. i ached. i bellowed. i roared.
i somberly vowed life would never be the same with a mustache-less dad.
life as i knew it would end.... until he grew it back.
he never grew his mustache back.
i still secretly wish he would.
im not very good with change.
infact, i suck at it.
i wish i could still hide away under the blankets. i wish i could still scream and then cry until i choke on my own snot, whenever change happens.
i wish the loss of fatherly mustaches were the only things i'd ever have to mourn.
but their not.
and that's hard to accept.

3 comments:

  1. I love the post, the imagery at the beggining made me howl with laughter, probably not what you were going for, but I have a sick sense of homour. I blame my mother, so feel free to do the same.

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  2. that picture so was my dad in 1987. how did you know!?!? :P

    i concur with you. i hate it when people save facial hair. and that change can be tough.

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  3. Yup, change sucks.

    Astrid (who usually has a very hard time with change and will tell you so herself) actually was very happy when one person we know (it was Gary Johnson) shaved his mustache. She was about 3 at the time. When she saw Gary she said "I am glad Gary shaved his mustache. Before, whenever he walked in the room with that mustache of his, I just stared and stared at it in amazement."

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